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Big Man


A straight-faced adoration
Of the self that you have become…
A haughty denial of the past
Only to be haunted each night
By the memories that it brings.
The body can hide.
But what about that mind?
That wretched rodent
Which lingers on in the dark,
Waiting to find its favourite meal
Every time you switch off the lights…
It finds its way back into the past-
That kitchen of its choice
Where it feeds on mistakes
And blunders and warm, salty rain…
Freeze the mind…
Let it be all body…
Let it be a rolling tongue,
A wet lower lip,
Turned scarlet after
A kiss with an able woman…
Let it be a five-star full course,
Or a Versace or a Rolex…
Hide away the failure
Hide away the past
Hide away the mockery
The insult, the damned existence
Of a small man, a faceless man…
But this mind is a clock
That keeps ticking backward…
Bringing down the glorious body
The tight-lipped elegant giant
The man who made it big,
The man who played it smart,
The man who made the shutterbugs,
The columnists, the politicians turn
In anticipation or anxiety…
The mind keeps going back
To the lost world of a child,
A teenager, a loser, a failure…
Is he to blame the past?
Is he to forget the pain? 
Will he forgive those shadows or people?
Big man, strong man, influential man…
New man…
Old mind…Hurt mind…Lost mind…
Lost soul, underdeveloped self…
Life in death…Death in life…
Thinking mind…Helpless mind…
Child all throughout…Fragile…

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